28 June 2011

while driving home revisted

This post was originally from September 2009, about six months after we had moved into this house.  Here we are almost two full years later and I still check the toilets before I use them and randomly check under the car if I have to stay out in the garage for long periods of time rather than just jumping into it.  (Think the way a small child jumps into bed so monsters don't grab their feet.)

*Phone rings*

Me: Hello?

Dan: Hi Hon. How are things going?

Me: Good. Mabry is watching Peter Pan and being really good. What's up?

Dan: *Hesitates* Um...promise not to freak out?

Me: (Immediate thoughts of him eating in bed and destroying our white comforter that took me over a year to find; the house burning down; him telling us we are being relocated.) Sure?

Dan: I want to say up front we are not going to sell this house.

Me: *Now really worried.* Ok?

Dan: The next door neighbors found a 7 FOOT SNAKE IN THEIR GARAGE today. Animal control said it wasn't a pet, IT WAS WILD.

Me: *Mock calm voice* Oh is that all? No big deal. *Frantically looking for a place to pop a u-turn on a major interstate and put as many states between me and our house as possible.*

I am now looking everywhere I go when I walk not only outside but in the house. Toilet lids are opened and throughly inspected for anything that could be lurking. Cupboards are checked before reaching my hand in to grab anything. The best part is Dan said the neighbors told him that they had to call a whole bunch of different places before they could someone to come out and catch the snake. My plan is to call 911 and report shots fired if I find one, I figure that means I will only be screaming like a little girl while hanging from the chandelier in the dining room for about a minute before help arrives.

That is if I don't just drop dead from total fright first.

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