30 August 2011

wordless wednesday

Mainly because I could use a little piece and quiet. Mabry 8.25.2011

hanging on

I would have posted this in the wee hours of the morning like I normally do (I was surely up) but my Internet decided to be incredibly slow for reasons known only to itself.

Not much to say today.

I went through my cell phone and cleaned out videos and photos.  I came across ones I had taken months and months ago at A and L's house.  We were grilling out and the kids were playing on the swing set.  Everything was going great until Mabry started screaming.

You know the kind of screaming that makes a Mama's heart almost stop because it is the mixture of fear and pain.

This girl is high drama all the time and I try hard not to feed into it.

I also took video so that I could share with the world just how crazy she was acting.  (Sorry future Mabes who happens to be combing Mama's archives, you really were overreacting to the nth degree.)
 

28 August 2011

the hurricane has made me a rambling fool

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Irene swept through the state this weekend.  We ended up with the tiniest bit of rain and some heavier than normal winds.  In all honesty, the worst thing that happened to Mabry and I was the majority of the local stations were wall-to-wall hurricane coverage for 24-hours preempting all of our usual TV shows.  If that isn't a first world problem I don't know what is.
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At least the hurricane gives me a good excuse to post all the photos I took of Mabry playing in the rain up in PA two days before my sister's wedding.  (Which by the way I still plan to blog about it, I just need to find the time to edit the photos I took.)
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My knee is doing about the same.  I woke up Sunday morning barely able to move it.  This is probably a direct result of doing a whole bunch sans brace on Friday night and Saturday.  That and just walking around as best I could as though it was 100% healed.  I have no one to blame but myself.  Thankfully, I learned my lesson and plan to wear the brace and be a little more careful.
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This is shaping up to be a busy week.  I have a big announcement to make towards the end of the week and have a few things left to do to get ready for the big day.  So be looking for that.  Also the little miss is going to be four-years-old next week.  I'm still in disbelief that I am about to have a non-baby/non-toddler for a child.  Crazy craziness.  The upcoming birthday means I am in crazy Mama mode trying to put together finishing touches on some birthday gifts and other little surprises I have in store for her that day.
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Side Note: Speaking of September 6th (Mabry's birthday)(as if this post couldn't be more random) is anyone else as excited as I am about the new season of Sons of Anarchy starting back up?  Love me some Jax Teller!


Anyhow.

I looked at the calendar this weekend and added up just how much longer Dan is slated to be gone.  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.  This has seriously got to be the longest deployment ever.  I'm a fairly independent person and even though it sucked when he was gone in the past I did OK.  Yes, I missed him.  Of course I worried myself sick about him and hated always going to things by myself.  The thing is I have come to realize that single parenthood sucks the life right out of you.  Thus, longest deployment ever.  Not to mention Mabry has started asking some very hard questions about Dan being gone.  Sigh.
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I don't want to end on such a bummer.  So how about a video of the girlie laughing as she made rain angels?
I hope you all had a great weekend.  

25 August 2011

once again i disappear for almost a week

One of my knees cracks and pops every time I bend down and stand back up.  It has been doing this for months now.  Seeing that thirty-years-old is quickly coming up I assumed that my best years were behind me and that popping knees just came with the territory of this decade of life.

Go ahead and roll your eyes.

The point is I ignored the pops and cracks.  Once in awhile it would cause my knee to be a little sore and I would think, "Self, maybe you should call a doctor just to be on the safe side."  Only then I would get side tracked with a shiny new project or task I would need to accomplish.  That or I would talk myself out of it because going to the doctor is not a fun time for me.  I usually walk out feeling like it was a waste of time, that I have been misdiagnosed or freaked out that I am going to die.  What can I say other than my mind is a twisted train wreck.  

Cut to Monday night.  
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I put Mabes in the bathtub and then went to go wipe down the kitchen.  Some of you are probably gasping in horror that I would leave my almost 4-year-old alone in a tub.  The way I look at it is three-fold:

1.  She is almost 4-years-old.
2.  She is loud and talks non-stop so if there is ever even a 5 second lapse in noise I am rushing in to check on her.  
3.  I am currently a single parent and so if I see an opportunity to do something (say clean up the kitchen counters) without a little girl right under my feet I take it.

Anyhow, I knocked some stuff onto the floor and so I bent down to pick it up.  As soon as I stood I heard three very loud popping/snapping noises.  Then I screamed.  It was instinctual and my word, I have never felt that kind of pain.  Once I pulled myself together I half limped to the bathroom to finish giving Mabry her bath.  

I sat on a little step stool and when I was done I turned to stand up and once again was hit with a wave of pain.  At which point I said, "Self, I have nothing to say to you other than you should have been checked out months ago, you big dummy."  So I made an appointment to see the doctor that night.  Gotta love the acute care clinic on post and their 9:15pm appointment time slots.

The doctor said that it sounded to him like I had torn cartilage in my knee and prescribed pain killers and some Motrin and sent me on my way.  No x-rays, no actual touching of my knee, no crutches, no real plan of action, nothing.  Remember what I said about feeling like I have wasted my time after going to the doctor most of the time?  Yeah, now you see why.

So I went home and put Mabry to bed, did a little around the house and went to sleep myself.  The next morning I woke up to a locked knee (which means I couldn't bend it to save my life) and a world of pain. Poor Mabry didn't eat anything until almost noon when Amber showed up because I couldn't stand to get her anything.  The best I could do was drag myself on my bottom around the house.  I even had to have Mabry get me some water from the bathroom sink in one of her little play tea cups so I could take a Motrin she had brought me from my purse.

Not being able to take care of your kid is scary.  Way more scary than the pain I was in.  I ended up calling my Mom who dropped everything and drove straight up from Atlanta to help me.  

So a visit to a different doctor, an x-ray, an MRI and a free range of motion brace later it turns out I have a complex and unstable tear (which means it can move around--yipee!) in my knee.  Part of the tear is blocking part of my knee joint, so that's fun.  I have to wait until next week to see an orthopedic surgeon to determine the next step.  Maybe some physical therapy, maybe some arthroscopic surgery, who knows.  
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I'm doing better and have the ability to straighten out my leg enough to walk on it and bear some weight.  It is extremely sore and there are some things that as soon as I start doing them result in piercing pain.  So I just don't do those things.  Mom went home because there was no reason to continue to stay if I could move around.  She will most likely have to come back if there is a surgery.  

Before she left she and Mabry ran to the store and picked me up some flowers.  Mabry gave them to me and then asked, "Now do you feel better, Mama?"  
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With a sweet girl like that and family and friends who are willing to drop everything to help and a husband who is being an awesome support system no matter where he is in the world I would say I'm doing just fine.

22 August 2011

i'm all over the map on this one

It has been crazy around here lately.  All of the little projects that I had put on hold for the last month are being tackled in an effort to make way for the big projects I want to accomplish in September.  Oh the beauty of the having your husband deployed and another friend's husband sent out on a training mission.  When the husbands are away the wives do projects around the house.  At least around here they do.

Then of course their are the other responsibilities that I have.  Such as taking care of the little ballerina and the normal around the house chores, all of my design work and even a few photo shoots to edit.  I'm not complaining, all of this is helping time fly by.  The faster it goes the sooner Dan will come home.  At least that is why I try and tell myself.  Some days it works better than others.

All of that leads to little time for blogging.  I really am trying to get better and to manage my time.  Someday I hope to get it all together.  Having Mabry really threw me for a loop.  You would think that after almost four years I would have gotten the hang of the whole Mama/Wife/Life juggling act.

Speaking of which, can you believe that our little girl is going to be four-years-old in just over two weeks?  She is going to be more of a child than a toddler and even less like a baby.  Though she is quick to tell me she will always be my baby or "yittle" girl even when she is old and married.  So true.

Well this post has been all over the place.  Sorry for that.  I'll leave you with a video I made the other morning.  Mabry wanted me to show her where the "Panilla Beans" (or "Philly Beans" as she sometimes calls them) were on a map since she knows that is where her Daddy was born.

 

Side note to myself so I don't forget:
-Mabry knows where North Carolina, Hawaii, Asia and the Philippines are on a map.
-She likes to ask me where I was born and when I say North Carolina she acts surprised and then exclaims, "I live there too!"
-When she asks where she was born and I tell her Washington she always replies, "Washington state, not Washington DC, right?"  How she knew that there were two different Washingtons is beyond me.



18 August 2011

anytime you can't find the girlie...

Hiding #3Hiding #2
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...you are almost sure to find her hiding behind one chair or another.

17 August 2011

this is where my head is tonight

When Dan and I first made the decision that we were going to try for Baby #2 we thought it would be a good idea to start preparing Mabry with the idea of a sibling.  We talked a lot about babies, and about sharing Mama and Daddy as well as what it would be like to be a big sister.  She was instantly hooked on the idea and as excited about welcoming a new baby into the family as we were.

We don't talk about having Baby #2 much anymore, especially with this deployment going on right now.  Mabry knows that Daddy has to be home before we can have a baby and that he has to be far away right now because of his job.

However, Mabry likes to tell people that she is going to be a big sister.  She really likes to tell them that Mama is going to have two babies.

It is hard to hear her say things like that and not want to just cry.  She doesn't understand that just because she wants to be a big sister so badly doesn't mean it is going to happen.  Trust me, if wanting it bad enough was all it took I think Dan and I would have a football team's worth of children by now.


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11  (This is one of my favorite Bible verses and I feel like it is so fitting for this time in my life.)


My body has consistently failed my family for over two years now.  I've gone from optimistic, to impatient, to angry, to just plain sad.

Kind of a weird post, I know.  This is just what has been on my mind a lot lately.  Then seeing some of this photos on Pinterest tonight really got me to thinking.

This one was posted right after the one above.  It made me laugh.
image via x1b

16 August 2011

she is officially a cherub



Mabry's First Dance Class #3

Last night was The. Most. Anticipated. Evening. Ever.   That's right, the time had finally come for Mabry's first dance class.  When I told her to grab her dance bag out of the closet I am pretty sure she floated across the house.  Don't even get me started on the excitement experienced as she wiggled into her leotard and tights.  

When we got there (very early) several little girls were hanging outside of the studio playing.  Mabry tried so hard to get them to let her join in.  I am pretty sure had their mother's not made them they would have continued doing their own thing ignoring her completely.  It broke my heart but Mabry seemed oblivious.  Thank goodness there were a few sweet girls who came later.  

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Her poor teacher has her work cut out for her teaching a bunch of 3 and 4-year-olds ballet and tap.  (That would be Miss Mabes right next to the teacher.)

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It really was like watching someone herd cats.

Here the girls were supposed to be flowers that started growing from the ground up.  Mabry kept her forehead pressed into the floor long after everyone bloomed.  It took her a second but she started to catch on.
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They try to persuade parents not to watch the class because it is too distracting for the little ones.  Of course since this was the first day we were all their watching our little ballerinas.  I wasn't sure if we could take photos, so I left my camera in the car and had to rely solely on the iPhone.  

Half of the class time is spent on ballet.  The other is tap.  Oh my word all the tiny tap dancers were adorable!
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To keep the girls occupied while everyone was changing shoes they had them lay on the floor and make "snow angels."  I'm not sure why but this impressed Mabry greatly.
Mabry First Dance Class

Afterwards we went to Dairy Queen for half priced Blizzards to celebrate.  Can't wait for next Monday!

Mabry's First Dance Class #9 Celebrating with DQ

12 August 2011

baby beluga

Mabry and I missed our calling as long haul truckers.  I did the math and in the last three weeks (exactly) we have driven 2,484.07 miles.  That doesn't count all the little running around we did in town with each stop we made.  

I can't speak for Mabry, but if I don't see a highway for a few months it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.  Before calling all our travels quits we decided to make a quick drive 100 miles north to visit my parents.  My Dad has been in North Carolina working and Mom was in town this week to visit him.  It was a good chance to do a little more visiting and take full advantage of the pool.

The water was fantastic and in the afternoon we had the pool to ourselves.

Mabry even decided to try her hand at being brave and doing a little solo swimming in the inflatable ring we brought with us.
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Of course she had to warm up with some screaming, several tears and insisting on clinging to my Mom and I for dear life.  After we got her past all of that she had a blast.
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One last photo, mainly for Dan's benefit.  If I was hesitating about making an appointment at the salon seeing this photo solidifies my need to get on it stat. 
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10 August 2011

it's like this


Internets, I am burnt out.  I feel like no matter how hard I try, how late I stay up, how much I accomplish in a day it is never enough.  I feel like I will never be caught up enough to feel like I can take a breath.  You know what, it sucks.  I refuse to accept that all of my days will be like this.  They can't be.

It also sucks to wish away days waiting for Dan to come home.  To help me parent, to help me care for the house and the lawn, to share my life with.  This too will pass.

I need to take a day to organize, refocus and count the many blessings in my life.  Which means this is the best you are going to get in terms of a post for today.

wordless wednesday: the serious business of ichat

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09 August 2011

i keep teaching her new songs...


...so that she can sing them over and over until my head wants to explode.  Need some suggestions because I am slowly but surely running out of good toddler songs.  Maybe I should move on to teaching her some of Motown's best.

Other Mabry happenings:

1.  She likes to talk about God while we are driving in the car.  Maybe it has something to do with watching the tops of the trees out of the window that makes her philosophical every time we go somewhere.  Yesterday the big question was why did God give her to me and Dan.  We talked about different possibilities and then she yelled out, "I've got it!  God gave me to you so you could give me things to eat since I'm too short to get it myself."

2.  Mabry is the master staller when it comes to going to bed.  Her new ploy is to tell me she has, "...just one more ting to tell you."  Usually when I ask her what this is she gets a blank look on her face and starts saying, "Umm...ummm..." over and over.

3.  She is finally old enough to let me read some simple chapter books to her.  Every night for two weeks we read a few chapters of Charlotte's web before bed and it was fantastic.  They say readers are born on the knees of their parents and Mabry is proving it to be true.  I cannot wait until she is old enough for me to read her Harry Potter.  It makes this Mama's heart so happy to know she has a special love for books just like I do.
Reading Charlotte's Web with Mama 6.15.11

4.  During all of the traveling we have done over the last month Mabry picked up a fear of the dark.  I now have to make sure she has at least one bright night light (thanks Gramma Wanda for buying the perfect one for her!) and sometimes the hall light on before she will settle down and go to sleep.  She was really worried about monsters.  Then I let her in on a secret.  I told her before she was born I had a job as a monster hunter.  I would catch them and throw them in monster jail.  So no monsters will ever come to our house because they are afraid of me.

5.  Mabry now wants to be a monster hunter and a baker when she grows up.  Good luck finding her something, future guidance counselor.

6.  "Keep yourself entertained while Mama mows the lawn" is apparently code for grab as much dirt and sand as you can and rub it into your hair and face for the next hour.
Playing out in the dirt #2Playing out in the dirt 7.17.11

08 August 2011

turtle bites and why i won't be winning any parenting awards anytime soon

Making Turtle Bites #2
One of the most distinct memories I have about Christmas as a child were the chocolate turtles my Gramma Wanda used to make and give to us. (I don't know that the recipe I linked to is the one she used, but the picture looks exactly like them.)  Disclaimer: when I say  "us" what I really mean is my Mom.  She would usually share some with my sister and I and then we would later pilfer her hidden stash.
This past Christmas I told my Mom that I wanted to make turtles.  Only in the spirit of yearning for a ladylike figure I decided to put my own spin on it and came up with what I call Turtle Bites.  All the yummy goodness of the turtle with a lot less calories.  

Mabry informed me not long ago that she wants to be a baker when she grows up.  I am constantly being asked if she can help me in the kitchen.  The Turtle Bites sounded good in my head.  Even more appealing was knowing we would be seeing my Mom and sister soon and I could pawn 2/3 of what we made onto them.  
Making Turtle Bites #3
My little helper wanted to model her apron.  Every time she puts it on she has to take a minute to marvel over the fact that it has a cupcake (or "pupcake" as she calls it) with her name on it.
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While I worked on melting the chocolate and making a pile of large pecan pieces
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Mabry worked on taking the wrappers off all the caramels.
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Next was tearing the camels into quarters and placing them onto the pecan pieces.
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A little dip into chocolate and then a trip to the fridge to harden.
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Then came the best part, sampling.  There are no photos of this because I was too busy eating chocolate to pick up the camera.

We made milk chocolate and dark chocolate bites.  With the excess chocolate I let Mabry take some pretzel squares and make Chocolate Covered Pretzel Bites.  Are we sensing a theme?
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I must confess that while we worked I let Mabry sample a carmel and then she took it upon herself to become the official melted chocolate stir spoon licker.  Don't worry, I got a new spoon out every time I went to stir because of this.  (You'll notice the little chocolate mustache in at least one of the above photos.)  

It wasn't until we were all done and cleaned up and I was about to put her in a bath before bedtime that I realized I hadn't fed her any dinner.  Unless you count ungodly amounts of sugar as a meal.  She took a really late nap that day and didn't wake up until almost 5:30.  While she was sleeping I had a sandwich and figured I would make her one when she woke up.  Guess who forgot all about her plan?

Score one for Scatter Brained Mother of the Year.
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