25 August 2011

once again i disappear for almost a week

One of my knees cracks and pops every time I bend down and stand back up.  It has been doing this for months now.  Seeing that thirty-years-old is quickly coming up I assumed that my best years were behind me and that popping knees just came with the territory of this decade of life.

Go ahead and roll your eyes.

The point is I ignored the pops and cracks.  Once in awhile it would cause my knee to be a little sore and I would think, "Self, maybe you should call a doctor just to be on the safe side."  Only then I would get side tracked with a shiny new project or task I would need to accomplish.  That or I would talk myself out of it because going to the doctor is not a fun time for me.  I usually walk out feeling like it was a waste of time, that I have been misdiagnosed or freaked out that I am going to die.  What can I say other than my mind is a twisted train wreck.  

Cut to Monday night.  
I put Mabes in the bathtub and then went to go wipe down the kitchen.  Some of you are probably gasping in horror that I would leave my almost 4-year-old alone in a tub.  The way I look at it is three-fold:

1.  She is almost 4-years-old.
2.  She is loud and talks non-stop so if there is ever even a 5 second lapse in noise I am rushing in to check on her.  
3.  I am currently a single parent and so if I see an opportunity to do something (say clean up the kitchen counters) without a little girl right under my feet I take it.

Anyhow, I knocked some stuff onto the floor and so I bent down to pick it up.  As soon as I stood I heard three very loud popping/snapping noises.  Then I screamed.  It was instinctual and my word, I have never felt that kind of pain.  Once I pulled myself together I half limped to the bathroom to finish giving Mabry her bath.  

I sat on a little step stool and when I was done I turned to stand up and once again was hit with a wave of pain.  At which point I said, "Self, I have nothing to say to you other than you should have been checked out months ago, you big dummy."  So I made an appointment to see the doctor that night.  Gotta love the acute care clinic on post and their 9:15pm appointment time slots.

The doctor said that it sounded to him like I had torn cartilage in my knee and prescribed pain killers and some Motrin and sent me on my way.  No x-rays, no actual touching of my knee, no crutches, no real plan of action, nothing.  Remember what I said about feeling like I have wasted my time after going to the doctor most of the time?  Yeah, now you see why.

So I went home and put Mabry to bed, did a little around the house and went to sleep myself.  The next morning I woke up to a locked knee (which means I couldn't bend it to save my life) and a world of pain. Poor Mabry didn't eat anything until almost noon when Amber showed up because I couldn't stand to get her anything.  The best I could do was drag myself on my bottom around the house.  I even had to have Mabry get me some water from the bathroom sink in one of her little play tea cups so I could take a Motrin she had brought me from my purse.

Not being able to take care of your kid is scary.  Way more scary than the pain I was in.  I ended up calling my Mom who dropped everything and drove straight up from Atlanta to help me.  

So a visit to a different doctor, an x-ray, an MRI and a free range of motion brace later it turns out I have a complex and unstable tear (which means it can move around--yipee!) in my knee.  Part of the tear is blocking part of my knee joint, so that's fun.  I have to wait until next week to see an orthopedic surgeon to determine the next step.  Maybe some physical therapy, maybe some arthroscopic surgery, who knows.  
I'm doing better and have the ability to straighten out my leg enough to walk on it and bear some weight.  It is extremely sore and there are some things that as soon as I start doing them result in piercing pain.  So I just don't do those things.  Mom went home because there was no reason to continue to stay if I could move around.  She will most likely have to come back if there is a surgery.  

Before she left she and Mabry ran to the store and picked me up some flowers.  Mabry gave them to me and then asked, "Now do you feel better, Mama?"  
IMG_4588 2
With a sweet girl like that and family and friends who are willing to drop everything to help and a husband who is being an awesome support system no matter where he is in the world I would say I'm doing just fine.


  1. Oh Jess that is no good about your knee! I really hope you start feeling better soon! Your knee brace looks just like mine my freshman year of high school--I tore my knee apart doing a flip turn during swim practice. I tore my LCL and MCL and had cartilage damage. Sorry you had to waste your time at the emergency clinic on base.

  2. Gloria's grandma - Marie8/26/11, 12:18 PM

    Sorry to hear about your knee problem. Hope you can get it taken care of soon. I know this isn't very encouraging, but I had a knee replacement over 8 years ago and I have been doing pretty good, so-far. Able to walk alright and move around ok. Hasn't slowed me down-much. Hope your knee gets better soon. Good luck!


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