17 August 2011

this is where my head is tonight

When Dan and I first made the decision that we were going to try for Baby #2 we thought it would be a good idea to start preparing Mabry with the idea of a sibling.  We talked a lot about babies, and about sharing Mama and Daddy as well as what it would be like to be a big sister.  She was instantly hooked on the idea and as excited about welcoming a new baby into the family as we were.

We don't talk about having Baby #2 much anymore, especially with this deployment going on right now.  Mabry knows that Daddy has to be home before we can have a baby and that he has to be far away right now because of his job.

However, Mabry likes to tell people that she is going to be a big sister.  She really likes to tell them that Mama is going to have two babies.

It is hard to hear her say things like that and not want to just cry.  She doesn't understand that just because she wants to be a big sister so badly doesn't mean it is going to happen.  Trust me, if wanting it bad enough was all it took I think Dan and I would have a football team's worth of children by now.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11  (This is one of my favorite Bible verses and I feel like it is so fitting for this time in my life.)

My body has consistently failed my family for over two years now.  I've gone from optimistic, to impatient, to angry, to just plain sad.

Kind of a weird post, I know.  This is just what has been on my mind a lot lately.  Then seeing some of this photos on Pinterest tonight really got me to thinking.

This one was posted right after the one above.  It made me laugh.
image via x1b

1 comment:

  1. Daniel Oakes8/18/11, 4:06 AM


    I have faith that the Lord will bless us with another child one way or another. Always have faith honey.



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