31 July 2012

dear burrito, week 19

Dear Burrito,

Oh. My. Goodness.  Why in the world did no one take the time to remind me how much of a yucky pregnant person I am?  Getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and then tossing and turning for sometimes hours afterwards to try and get comfortable and fall back to sleep sucks.  Not being able to fit into any of my clothes is hard, especially when I'm not exactly big enough for the maternity stuff either.  I am starving all the time it seems, but then when I eat I feel nothing but uncomfortable.  Daddy says that I am doing great.  Trust me, kiddo, I feel anything but great. 

I could keep going with my list of complaints, but instead I am going to focus on the one good thing about being pregnant, feeling you move.  I describe the sensation of you moving as some sort of crazed ninja doing laps in a pool.  The weird thing is, this sensation of you doing laps or roundhouse kicking in my belly is the one thing about pregnancy that I really, really like and it makes all the rest of it not so bad.  Well, that and the whole knowing how awesome it is going to be once you are out and we can all hold you and cuddle with you and love on you part.

Your sister didn't move much.  She sort of sat upright in her breech position and would sometimes wave a hand, but that was about it.  I now believe she was harnessing all of that energy for when she busted out.

I spend a lot of time wondering what you are going to be like once you are here.  I also wonder what you will look like.  Daddy says he really hopes that you have his brown eyes.  I hope you have the full head of dark hair just like your sister did.  It would also be great if you had Daddy's skin tone.  Glow in the dark white skin that has to be hidden from the sun at all costs isn't all that fun.  Honestly, you could come out with lime green hair and bright purple eyes and neon pink skin (which would all be a little odd) and we will be head over heels in love with you.

The hormone roller coaster hasn't stopped.  Last week I spent 75% of my time in tears.  For no reason at all.  Poor Daddy and Mabes I don't think that they know what to do with me half the time.  The worst hormone surge was when I started to cry at the gym on the elliptical.  It probably didn't help that I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix and it was when Marshal's dad dies.  I've seen this episode numerous times and never once cried.  This time I couldn't pull myself together for anything.  It also didn't help that everyone around me just sort of came to a halt and stared.  Not that I can blame them when even I was looking at my reflection in one of the mirrors thinking, "Hey crazy, what is your deal?"

Every week I get an email telling me all about the developments you have been up to.  Everyone's favorite part is seeing what produce you are roughly the size of.  I told Mabes that you are now the size of a tomato.  She was mostly concerned if you were a red tomato or a green tomato.  We opted for red.  Hope you don't mind.

Sometimes I look at the calendar and think WOW I am already almost half way done with this pregnancy.  Other times it seems like Christmas is about the furthest thing away and like it will never get here.  Last year felt much the same because we were waiting for Daddy to come back from deployment around Christmas as well.  I think it is safe to say that Christmas 2011 and Christmas 2012 are going to be two of the best holidays ever in our book.

I suppose I should wrap this up.  Your sister is spending the week with Gamma and Gampa and I want to make the most of the time I have to get some things done.  You keep up the judo chopping and I'll try and reign in the tears.

Love,
Mama

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